Friday, May 30, 2014

Everyday Happiness

This is not really on topic for what I intend this blog to be about, but this is as good of a place as any for long form writing.

Not long after I moved in with the person who would become my (ex-)wife I was trying to describe what it was like growing up in my family.  I used the words that sprang into my head and in a few sentences gained clarity for myself about what I wanted in life.

Life when I was a child had rhythm, a cadence.  This was the pace life worked.  Not too fast, not too slow.  Don't chase the lofty highs to avoid the crash that would follow.  Whether or not it was intentional, my parents seemed to strive to keep cadence.  As a child or as an adult the happiest memories I have come from times in my life that had a rhythm, many of my worst memories come when there is none.

Having cadence does not mean being boring, emotionally reserved or quietly trudging through life.  That's not what I want, I wish that on no one.  I want to be active, emotionally boisterous and inspire laughter.  I want to internalize the hard lessons of the last year, grow, have adventures.  Cadence does not prevent those things, it engenders them.  I look around me and the most joyful couples and families have caught their own rhythm, accumulating happiness at a steady pace.

So, as I'm build my life into its new configuration, I try to add people and things that inspire cadence.  I'm thinking about it in the choices I make, as I get to know a new friend.  When I meet a woman who may make a good partner, I think about if we could have a rhythm together, and the everyday happiness that goes along with it.

I can't say when all the pieces will fall together, or even if they will.  With the help of friends old and new I am better prepared, and I know so much more about what I want and what it looks like when I see it.  I remain hopeful.

Bonus Track
Given the nature of this post, I thought I'd highlight a song from Jonathan Coulton that highlights some of the subject.  If you have never heard of Jonathan Coulton, well, bad on you.  Go here and be enriched.

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